Reverend Johnny Dragon

We live in a society that takes great pride in our freedoms.  I personally am a huge defender of the freedoms of others, and would stand by anyone in defense of that freedom.  Unless of course it was to infringe upon my own personal freedom and then we would have to discuss the bounds of your freedom.  This is the great paradox of freedom.  You can be as free as you want, just so long as it does not interfere with my personal agenda.  The question I have to ask myself is, How free do I wanna be?

When I was drinking and drugging, and please understand that if there was one thing I was perfect at it was drinking and drugging, I had no concept of what it meant to be free.  All I knew was that I had a great deal of fear driving me through out the day like a New York City Taxi Driver.  Alcohol and Drugs allowed me to quiet the problem for brief moments, but like the paradox of freedom, the fear was only intensified.  Alcohol and Drugs were never my problem, and my problem never made me use alcohol and drugs.  Alcohol and Drugs simply made my problem more palatable. I medicated because it was the only thing that shut the voices up for any period of time.  It did not matter what I used to quiet the roar, it was all anti J.D. medication as far as I was concerned.  My problem was me.  The problem was being right here right now, in the presence of me.

Ya see, for me to be free, I had to accept the fact that my life ran by me was not a very good idea.  My thinking was so imbedded with preconceived conditioning that I should not have been allowed to cross the street by myself.  I had to relinquish all power and control and cease to resist everyone and every thing.  I had to decide that my arrogance had to be put aside and humility must be my code.  I had to recognize and allow God to do for me what I could not do for myself.  At the time this seemed like a rather tall order, but compared to where I had been, this was a very small price to pay. 

I make a lousy God.  That’s why God has the job.  Some of you are probably saying to yourselves, “Oh no, J.D. has found religion!”  Nope, religion really does not have that much appeal to me.  However, concious contact with God as I understand him/her is what truly matters.  This is what works for me today, and everyday.

My challenge to you today is to ask yourself this question, How free do ya wanna be? And then take the appropriate action to achieve that goal.  No biggie!

J.D.

Tags: communicate, fear, Free, God, grace, judgment, love, meditate, pray, Recovery, resistance

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