Ode To The Pied Pipers of Recovery
Author: Johnny Dragon“That night, freed from the nightmare of the rats, the citizens of Hamelin slept more soundly than ever. And when the strange sound of piping wafted through the streets at dawn, only the children heard it. Drawn as by magic, they hurried out of their homes. Again, the pied piper paced through the town, this time, it was children of all sizes that flocked at his heels to the sound of his strange piping.
The long procession soon left the town and made its way through the wood and across the forest till it reached the foot of a huge mountain. When the piper came to the dark rock, he played his pipe even louder still and a great door creaked open. Beyond lay a cave. In trooped the children behind the pied piper, and when the last child had gone into the darkness, the door creaked shut.”- The Pied Piper of Hamelin, Tales From The Brothers Grimm
So yeah, I get it, I have not written anything in a long time…sorry. I have to be inspired to write something and unfortunately my inspiration has been placed on hold while I pour my soul into being good at my profession. I read a lot of blogs that are just mindless dribble, cranked out daily because someone has to keep up with advertising. I on the other hand do not have anyone stupid enough to advertise on my page, therefore, not an issue.
Most of you are familiar with my background with alcoholism and addiction and I appreciate those of you who read my stuff even though you yourself have had very little experience with those issues. The Program of Recovery specifically runs off of the concept of “placing principles before personalities.” What a concept huh? In a nutshell this means that we deal with each other on a higher level. We put steadfast principles first and we work around the personalities of others no matter what dysfunction they may bring to the table. This does not mean we blindly accept those personalities, but rather we understand them and operating from our own experience in Recovery, we make ourselves available for Service and we are careful not to be assholes about it. That last statement is in laymen terms by the way. So why am I ranting about this? Simple, I am starting to see less and less of this in the rooms of 12-Step Recovery. Maybe it never was there and I have simply been living in la la land, who knows?
What bothers me is that we constantly tell the newcomer to 12-Step Recovery to reach out to those who have what they want. This means connect with individuals that you want to be like. The problem with this is that if people are not “placing principles before personalities”, then who actually has anything that anyone wants? You are probably asking yourself what has brought this on? In the past year I feel like I have run into example after example of Individuals with decades of sobriety who have lost all concept of what it means to practice principles. Not just people sitting quietly in the back of the room, but people who have been placed on pedestals in the World of 12-Step Recovery. I once watched a Nationally sought after 12-Step Speaker, speak eloquently from the podium about the tenants of Recovery and then actively pursue Women new in the Program because deep within his soul he was really just a Predator at Heart. This is just one of hundreds of examples of “Good for the Gander but not for the Goose”. I’ve seen it time and time again where 12-Step Recovery creates a Guru. Someone who people chomp at the bit and go out of their way to sit at their feet and worship. The danger in this comes when people, especially newcomers lay the foundation of their Recovery on the press clippings of a “Paper God”. It is very easy to mistake Charisma for a genuine way of life. This is just not okay and I am absolutely disgusted by it.
I think my biggest issue with this is that I too wanted to be one of those people. I would watch them stand at the podium and mesmerize hundreds of people and I wanted to be that so badly. The scales have fallen from my eyes as I realize that these people are simply that…people. They experience the same problems as I do and they deal with life on life’s terms on a daily basis. The problem I have with them is the problem I have with me. I loose perspective of the big picture and my humility flies out the window. I forget who has gotten me their in the first place and I take back the control. What I have found is that when God hands me back the control, that is where the explosions begin. I have no business trying to be in that “divine drivers seat.” When it comes down to it I just feel sorry for these “Paper Gods”. The majority of them speak recklessly without considering the effect they may have on the impressionable and the broken. Individuals who crave undying devotion over real truth and substance in Recovery. In the end I just feel sorry for them.
These Individuals are always going to exist, and it is the Recovery Communities job to keep them in the appropriate perspective. No one standing in the podium are Rock Stars. They are people who have taken the absolute worst possible behavior and by practicing the appropriate principles and tenants of 12-Step Recovery have a solution that might just benefit others. They are not to be worshiped or followed like a self-proclaimed cult leader. The World has plenty of those and plenty of people willing to drink the Kool Aid. Don’t be one of them!
June 14th, 2011 at 8:47 pm
Excellent post JD. I am very glad to have caught it because I have been struggling with this myself. I see people in the rooms exhibiting behaviors that I feel are absurd to be coming from these so called ‘old timers’. I recently had to write inventory on this and for me it came down to the fact that I think I know better that god or that if all these people would just act like I think that they should then everything will be alright. The predators in the room bother me quite a bit but more so is the people with 10+ years who have deep seeded resentment on others of their home group and will act out on it and cause half the meeting to walk out do to their inibility to practice m’principals before personalities’. Myself having spiritual tools to use can tell myself these men are sick, as am I. But I ask my self, What does the newcomer think when they see such things. Who wants to be apart of petty rivalry and chest thumping on who’s ego is bigger and has the stronger program. At the end of the day god has a plan for all of us and I am crystal clear that it is better than mine. All I can do is stay close to god, share the solution that was freely given to me, and try to help the newcomer through the steps. The rest I leave to my higher power.
Hope to see you soon dude, been way to long.